31 December 2022
It’s that time of the year again! Not, it’s not just New Year’s Eve and a time to get plastered while watching classic Eurovision performances, it’s the time for the annual Eurovision Battle. This is the yearly battle to determine the best Eurovision year ever, and the title is still held by Kyiv 2017.
For those unfamiliar, we have a champion and a challenger. Kyiv 2017 was the inaugural champion when it beat Stockholm 2016. Remarkably, Kyiv 2017 has held off every challenger since, mostly due to it being a very consistent year. The closest margin was a two point win against Stockholm 2016 and Rotterdam 2021. Scoring is exactly the same as in boxing. Each country represents a round, and the winner gets 10 points for winning, and the loser gets 9 or less depending on the magnitude of the defeat. There is always a winner, so even if a decision was excruciatingly close, the score will be 10-9. If there’s no opponent, then one point is added or subtracted depending if I like the song.
Just like in boxing, a losing round is typically by one or two points, so you won’t see 10-2, for example. Even a score like 10-7 is rare, and that pattern exists in the Eurovision Battle. The biggest defeat ever is 10-6, and that actually involves participants from Kyiv 2017. Yes, there were some shockers in 2017, like Australia, Lithuania, San Marino and Spain, and I didn’t like the winner, Portugal, particularly much either. In fact, 2017 nearly always loses the first four rounds, and perpetually must deal with big losses by Lithuania, San Marino and Spain, and Portugal losing comfortably.
Rather that pick a few interesting rounds and add a running commentary with a score update, a new format this year. Here’s the score card without the total so you get an immediate impression of how the battle played, and then I’ll highlight a few of the individual rounds and reveal the total score and winner at the end.
Armenia
2017 Artsvik – Fly With Me
2022 Rosa Linn – Snap
The ever catchy Snap has become a worldwide viral streaming success for Rosa Linn, and a worthy 10-8 winner for Turin 2022.
Croatia
2017 Jacques Houdek – My Friend
2022 Mia Dimsic – Guilty Pleasure
This was a reasonably close 10-9 decision for 2022. While I loved both sides of Jacques and he is more my guilty pleasure, my heart belongs to Mia and she feels more my friend.
Malta
2017 Claudio Faniello – Breathlessly
Embedding the video was disabled so view here
2022 Emma Muscat – I Am What I Am
Again, two underrated songs heading into Eurovision, and two performances I really enjoyed. Emma takes the round 10-9 for Turin 2022, and not just because she’s so cute! I really enjoyed her happy, bouncy performance. What’s not to love about her?
Poland
2017 Kasia Mos – Flashlight
2022 Ochman – River
Both similar styles of songs, and both with stellar votes. I just felt that Kasia Mos in 2017 offered more throughout, and I preferred her song too.
Sweden
2017 Robin Bengtsson – I Can’t Go On
2022 Cornelia Jakobs – Hold Me Closer
One more time for the glorious Cornelia Jakobs! Sorry, Robin, you’re a handbag in comparison. A comfortable 10-8 win for Turin 2022.
United Kingdom
2017 Lucie Jones – Never Give Up On You
2022 Sam Ryder – Space Man
Of course, we must showcase the real winner of Turin 2022, based on music. Let’s not forget Lucie Jones in 2017 was a highly accomplished performance for the UK too. Losing 10-8 to Sam Ryder is no disgrace.
Yes, Kyiv 2017 lost the first four rounds again, and Spain sets a new record of defeat with 2022 beating 2017, 10-5. It’s not really a “wow” moment because Do It For Your Lover by Manel Navarro was truly a horror song and performance, and it was against stunning SloMo from the equally stunning Chael. Portugal and San Marino were 10-7 wins for 2022. Slovenia was actually the toughest decision, just giving it to 2022.
You can also see that Turin 2022 had some poor results, notably Belgium, Bulgaria, France, Georgia, Italy and Switzerland. I didn’t care for the “winner”, Ukraine, either.
The Winner Is…
Kyiv 2017!
Very close at just 3 points the difference, and both years won 20 rounds each. The difference came in the size of the defeats.
It would be ironic if Liverpool 2023, stepping in to host for Ukraine, finally beats Kyiv 2017. Check back in a year to see!
Mr Eurovision Australia 